Ok this is going to be a weird one but sod it. And I'm starting with this picture as the preview just to keep things fb safe, although really it should all be fb safe as it's advertised on fucking fb.
At the moment I am getting a lot of adverts for bras.
Wireless bras, seamless bras, jelly bras, minimising bras, miracle bras... they're not sure what exactly is wrong with my boobs, but there's must be SOMETHING and they know just the bra to sort it out.
Many adjectives are used. Large. Saggy. Wider Set. ROUGH.
Maybe I have VOLUME LOSS.
Or maybe they're just WEIRD
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| 'Relaxed' doesn't sound that bad tbh |
So after all that I'm not sure what shape they are or what shape they're meant to be.
Then I get to the minimising bra adverts.
Now I want to stop here and clarify that I'm not the intended market for these. I know for some people having big boobs and being sexualised just for existing is a real problem, and that's not what I'm dismissing here.
There's just a lot of conflicting opinions on what they're 'supposed' to look like.
This woman for example, apparently looks '15 pounds heavier'? I don't see it. This is just what it looks like when a loose jumper is worn by someone with boobs. I get that people with larger boobs often want to wear loose clothing to not draw attention to them, but if you look like this when you do so that is ABSOLUTELY FINE.
Now this one I can empathise with. Sometimes you go for the tight, summer vest top because it's HOT and you don't want everyone just staring at your chest like this. I can see why a minimising bra would help here (but again, if you WANT to wear a tiny top that shows of your boobs, again that's absolutely fine)
My problem here is the minimising bra they're advertising WON'T WORK with his top either.
Those bras will absolutely show above that vest top, and not just a cute little bit of strap. The problem isn't solved by a decent bra, the problem is that they never make these sorts of tops that you can wear a decent bra under.
Other miscellaneous moans...
The 'matronly shelf look'. What? What are they talking about? Again maybe I'm missing something from not being the target market but I'm not seeing a problem to be solved here.
Or here we have the 'sad touching uniboob' which as far as I was aware was called cleavage. Yes it's awful when it gets sweaty and sticky, and I can see why people want separation to avoid that. But can we not start pretending that cleavage is somehow awful to look at?
THIS is. This looks UNCOMFORTABLE. It also doesn't look like what has been shown in any of the other pictures. Out of all of them I will agree that yes, your bra should not be doing this to your boobs.
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| Also apologies for lazy cropping but I'm nearly done here. |
Today I just got this one, claiming their bra is the perfect one for every top.
Then you see the bra and notice it would still show in the strappy vest.
I have so many tops I never wear because I can't be bothered to try on with different bras. Some tops just don't want bras. The bra that suits every top is a myth.
I don't have an overall point here. Bras are stupid. Fashion. Is stupid. Boobs are all wonderful, but also annoying and stupid.
Maybe this is the way forward
Anyway. If it's not bras it's sex courses and stuff. Maybe that'll be a rant for another time.
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