Always read the (not so fine) print...

So, today at work I came across a letter a co-worker of mine had sent out (this person has already left the company).

Part of the letter was an acceptance form, for the customer to sign to say 'I accept this resolution to my complaint'. We use templates, and she hadn't filled in the amounts, so it still said things like:

"I understand that you will pay a refund of [£0.00]. This will include [£0.00] representing 8% simple interest"

So, the main body of the letter DID state the amount we were offering, but the actual legal document did not. This could cause trouble for us.

But, proving that customers can be as ditzy as some of our staff... he signed it.

He sent in a form saying 'yes, I accept that you will pay me no money'. Well, if you insist sir, the customer IS always right after all...


We did give him his refund of course, but it does make you wonder what someone who was, say, about to leave the company, could try to sneak into a legal document.

Feel free to give suggestions :)

Interestingly enough, I may at some point in the future be having minor surgery under sedation. I've been warned that I am not allowed to sign any documents for 24 hours after being given the drug. Now I see why.

You need mash for that...

So, My boyfriends dad has been in hospital (far too serious a time to give him a jokey name). I had got a sausage casserole going in the day (this was a day I was off work) and my boyfriend went to visit his dad straight from work, telling me he'd be home late.
So, knowing i had some extra time, and that slow cooker food can be left going ages longer, I decided to do some proper mash (instant mash is like mixing sawdust with water, why does no one see this?).
So, my boyfriend comes home from the hospital, to see me finishing of a batch of lovely mashed potatoes, and bursts out laughing.
Why? He'd told his dad (who, by the way, was on a lot of morphine at the time) that I was cooking sausage casserole for him. And his dad was very adamant that we NEEDED to have mash! we couldn't possibly enjoy this sausage casserole without mash.

So, I guess great minds think alike. Or, at least my mind thinks like a morphine addled mind. Either way, the food was good.

"Do you put 'everything' on face book?"

So said the boyfriend tonight.
I should explain. He'd picked up one of those sushi snack-pack things from the supermarket (although the definition of 'sushi' is debatable... it contained no fish). He asked if I thought it was weird that the soy sauce came in a little plastic fish. I replied 'Well, where else would you put you soy sauce? Seems perfectly normal to me'. 
This was immediately followed by me saying 'ooh, I'm gonna put that on facebook', to which he asked if I put everything on face book. I said 'No, I don't put pictures of my vagina on facebook'.

So, that was fairly short and unremarkable wasn't it? (really want to make a penis joke here). I guess the suggestion of putting everything on face book reminded me that I should maybe be putting stuff up here more often. But then, a blog isn't really the place for one, random line is it? 

Oh well. I've just been reminded of something I meant to post a little while ago and didn't, so may as well get it out there now. I was debating how anonymous to make everyone in the story. If, for example, I'm sharing a story about a person I ate a pie with, they will forever be known as 'pie friend' in my blog. Which is fine. But the three people I will be mentioning in this story are my best friends and have been for such a long time that one incident would not be enough to describe them. These three are to be known as J, L and K (in order of meeting them, not alphabetically, I'm being awkward). Everyone else who pops up in my stories will get some little name like 'pie friend' or else they'll not be named until they've popped up repeatedly.
(on that note, the boyfriend may eventually be called B, or D, or 'Penis Man', I haven't decided yet. I'm open to suggestions).

Anyway, on with the story, short and incoherent though it is. I had J and L round at mine the Saturday after Christmas; we always have our own 'friends' Christmas, as of course Christmas itself is a family day. This originated when we all hung out at a friends flat, and would meet to swap presents after Christmas, calling it 'flatmas'. Now we are proper adults (pfft) and we actually cook a dinner. I hosted this year (being the one without parents/children in the way) and I had a play list of Christmas songs playing in the background.
(if anyone is wondering where K is, being such a good friend and all, she's currently living in Germany, but we skyped with her later so she got to join us)

Now, me and J have been friends for an amazingly long time, since we were 3 (We are 28/27 now, she'll catch up with me in March). And in this time we've invented a large amount of silly in-jokes and phrases. One of which is J's re-working of Slade's 'Merry Christmas Everybody'.

Our (or rather her) lyrics are as follows..

So here it is, Merry Christmas!
Everybody's shagging cats.
Fuck to the future now!
You're just about to co-o-ome!

Er, yeah, I think we've been singing that since we were 12 maybe?

As we were using spotify for my play list, the original version of this one was unavailable, but we did have access to an almost-acceptable cover version. The only truly bad part was the 'It's Chriiiiiiiistmaaaas!' shout, which was completely pathetic and without feeling.
Upon hearing this, J said "he should fuck that teddy bear with more passion,(the switch from cats to inanimate toys was unexplained but for the best, once you see where she went with this.) when noddy holder did it, he fucked it so hard there was spunk dribbling out it's eyes!".

So, there's my entertaining story. And as a side note, when I checked face book the next morning, I saw that my status had been briefly changed to 'fucked so hard, spunk dribbling out it's eyes'. oh dear. and so you see there's really not much that hasn't been put on face book...