"Do you put 'everything' on face book?"

So said the boyfriend tonight.
I should explain. He'd picked up one of those sushi snack-pack things from the supermarket (although the definition of 'sushi' is debatable... it contained no fish). He asked if I thought it was weird that the soy sauce came in a little plastic fish. I replied 'Well, where else would you put you soy sauce? Seems perfectly normal to me'. 
This was immediately followed by me saying 'ooh, I'm gonna put that on facebook', to which he asked if I put everything on face book. I said 'No, I don't put pictures of my vagina on facebook'.

So, that was fairly short and unremarkable wasn't it? (really want to make a penis joke here). I guess the suggestion of putting everything on face book reminded me that I should maybe be putting stuff up here more often. But then, a blog isn't really the place for one, random line is it? 

Oh well. I've just been reminded of something I meant to post a little while ago and didn't, so may as well get it out there now. I was debating how anonymous to make everyone in the story. If, for example, I'm sharing a story about a person I ate a pie with, they will forever be known as 'pie friend' in my blog. Which is fine. But the three people I will be mentioning in this story are my best friends and have been for such a long time that one incident would not be enough to describe them. These three are to be known as J, L and K (in order of meeting them, not alphabetically, I'm being awkward). Everyone else who pops up in my stories will get some little name like 'pie friend' or else they'll not be named until they've popped up repeatedly.
(on that note, the boyfriend may eventually be called B, or D, or 'Penis Man', I haven't decided yet. I'm open to suggestions).

Anyway, on with the story, short and incoherent though it is. I had J and L round at mine the Saturday after Christmas; we always have our own 'friends' Christmas, as of course Christmas itself is a family day. This originated when we all hung out at a friends flat, and would meet to swap presents after Christmas, calling it 'flatmas'. Now we are proper adults (pfft) and we actually cook a dinner. I hosted this year (being the one without parents/children in the way) and I had a play list of Christmas songs playing in the background.
(if anyone is wondering where K is, being such a good friend and all, she's currently living in Germany, but we skyped with her later so she got to join us)

Now, me and J have been friends for an amazingly long time, since we were 3 (We are 28/27 now, she'll catch up with me in March). And in this time we've invented a large amount of silly in-jokes and phrases. One of which is J's re-working of Slade's 'Merry Christmas Everybody'.

Our (or rather her) lyrics are as follows..

So here it is, Merry Christmas!
Everybody's shagging cats.
Fuck to the future now!
You're just about to co-o-ome!

Er, yeah, I think we've been singing that since we were 12 maybe?

As we were using spotify for my play list, the original version of this one was unavailable, but we did have access to an almost-acceptable cover version. The only truly bad part was the 'It's Chriiiiiiiistmaaaas!' shout, which was completely pathetic and without feeling.
Upon hearing this, J said "he should fuck that teddy bear with more passion,(the switch from cats to inanimate toys was unexplained but for the best, once you see where she went with this.) when noddy holder did it, he fucked it so hard there was spunk dribbling out it's eyes!".

So, there's my entertaining story. And as a side note, when I checked face book the next morning, I saw that my status had been briefly changed to 'fucked so hard, spunk dribbling out it's eyes'. oh dear. and so you see there's really not much that hasn't been put on face book...