Lawnmowers don't kill people..

So, I thought it was about time I shared this little tale with the internet.

When I was little I woke up in the night and couldn't get back to sleep. I have no idea exactly how old I was, but it was at the age where going through to your parents room because you can't sleep makes sense. My parents had fallen asleep with the TV on, half woke up enough to mumble 'Ok, sit through here for a bit then' and went back to sleep.

A film called 'Lawnmower Man' was about to start. This bit must have at least happened, as I'd never heard of the film before. However, I fell asleep not long after it started. My memories of the film were of a psycho going round killing people with a lawnmower (I had been exposed to some trashy horror films at this age). In one scene a teenage couple were making out in a high school locker room. The girl was topless, except for some whipped cream and a couple of strategically-placed glace cherries. Of course the lawnmower man came in and killed them. (I feel I should mention here that I don't remember any of the actual killings from the film).
At the end a slim, bald man rode into a circus tent on an elephant, and announced that he was the lawnmower man. And everyone forgave him. After the film there was a short disclaimer from a guy sat at a news desk, who told the audience that 'The film you have just seen is fictional. Lawnmowers don't kill people, people kill people. With Lawnmowers'.

Obviously, I must have dreamt the whole thing. But I didn't realise this until several years later when I mentioned it to someone and they pointed out that, no, that is not what the film is about. At all.

To this day, I have not seen the actual film. I don't think it could live up to my version.